Day 28 of lockdown. The relief 28 days ago when the lockdown was finally announced.
Today I read some of the first few days of this journal of sorts. Social distancing is now in full swing. While I still feel some degree of dread at stepping outside, I’ve settled into a routine that works.
I drink coffee. I do some work albeit mainly putting together stuff that might secure me future work. I have lunch at some point, going for my daily bit of exercise either before or after. I have regular calls with friends and friends I do projects with. I have coffee a couple of times a week with my neighbour where we meet on our respective front stairs with our own coffees, sit at an appropriate distance, and chat. I’m a bit less of a curtain twitcher than I was. I perhaps drink a little too much wine.
And it’s strange how the truly mundane becomes a real highlight. Today I hit the jackpot. No queues at my local M&S foodhall. And they had everything I wanted including tofu, except the red lentils. One day. I ran out of lentils around the time that panic buying commenced – I haven’t been able to find any since. I know I could go into another shop but I deliberately limit how many shops I go into to, and how often, to reduce my exposure to others. On the plus side I’m eating less misery munchies food than I used to.
I don’t think I’m quite used to the social distancing, having to behave as though I could infect or others could infect me. The virus is ever present.
My moods can shift quickly. And I can have some bad days. But I’m getting used to the routine. I’m getting used to sitting in silence in London, solo, and accepting how I feel. And the bad days are bad. But I seem to be having fewer of those. I haven’t read back much of what I’ve written over the last 28 days so I could be wrong. Writing helps.
Indeed, I haven’t been able to read much at all.
And it’s over the last 28 days that for the first time in my life I’ve had moments of true loneliness. Social disconnectedness. In normal times there are places outside home I could work – a café, Savoy Place where I have membership with The IET. And there are events I could go to. I’ve realised it wasn’t so much the formal discussion parts of events I valued, even though they were often fascinating, it was the side chats, the opportunity to network, run into folks I know professionally and haven’t seen for a while, to meet friends and to make new friends. And I do miss face to face contact with friends. Phone or video chats are not the same.
All in all I’m fortunate. The loneliness is temporary. I’m doing what I can to alleviate it including making new friends, albeit at a distance. And living alone gives me enormous freedoms that I may not otherwise have. I only have my own moods to put up with.
Also, I’m not an essential worker having to go out every day and deal with people. I couldn’t imagine what that would be like in these strange times, how frightening it must be.
And the figures today, up another 449 deaths, hospital deaths, since 9am yesterday and 9am today. This brings it to a total of 16,509. But this is undercounting. Estimates are that the numbers are out by around 25% to 40% in terms of not including deaths in care homes and at home. We should have a better sense of the real figures later in the week. Concerns continue with the lack of PPE. We’ve heard very little from the PM, still recovering.
So that’s it for Day 28. Stay safe, stay well, and stay home!