My ability to concentrate has gone out the window. A low level anxiety humming in the background. At least today I’m not furious, sad, or angry.
It’s a malaise, a flatness. I feel unsettled, unable to keep my mind clearly on one thing for a period of time.
I woke up late this morning, having gone back to bed after an early morning call to my landline. I listened to the message. I thought it was spam but later found out it was someone texting me from Australia. The message sounded like someone saying the alphabet. Odd.
I also walked. Another hour today through Dulwich Park. I managed to leave home when there was sunshine. I managed about 10 mins before the clouds came over. In the park, most people are getting the social distancing. Some still don’t seem to get it. I feel sorry for parents trying to corral small children. It must be tough for kids to make sense of this. I’m struggling to make sense of this.
Out of the park I walked around a few side streets, the ones with wide footpaths or where it would be easy to step onto the road. There’s very little traffic on most streets. I saw two planes overhead. I paid attention to the birdsong. It’s lovely when the dominant sound is birdsong. Perhaps I’m getting used to the quiet.
And in the news – the numbers are climbing. It’s too early to say if the government’s approach to ‘flattening the curve’ is working. An additional 563 deaths from 9am yesterday to 9am today in the UK. And these numbers will get worse. There are not enough ventilators. There is not enough PPE kit to ensure frontline workers are adequately protected. Not enough people are getting tested with not yet 10k tests a day being done. I’m assuming most of those being tested will be people who are so ill that they need to be in hospital. There’s no way of knowing the true figures for now, of how many are infected.
On the back of that news, I needed a nap. And what a glorious nap it was. My naps have generally been reserved for Saturday afternoons, after harder sessions at the gym generally followed by saying hello to folks either running or volunteering at Parkrun, often stopping for a coffee. At the moment, it’s hard to have a sense of the days. There’s something great about a nap.
I feel refreshed. I have a plan for tomorrow which involves consuming less media, doing more exercise including both my one trip out for a walk and some indoor stuff. I’m starting to feel soggy around the edges. My weight is pretty much the same but I know I have a few dresses which would now be a little tight to wear. And I’ll get some work done, if only for a couple of hours. I can get a lot done in a short space of time when I’m in the right frame of mind.
And time to put the milk bottles out on my neighbour’s doorstep.
So that’s it for Day 9. Stay safe, stay well, and stay home!